World Changers

How to Stop the Pain of Jealousy

March 22, 2017 | Posted by Emily Briggs

I can’t count how many times I’ve felt jealous. It’s so easy to slip into that mindset of thinking everyone else is better off, which leads to bitterness.

It feels awful when you work hard for something and someone else gets it without much effort. And to add salt to the wound, you have to congratulate and be happy for them.

The pain of jealousy

Jealousy is lonely and makes you feel hopeless and insecure. How can anyone be confident or satisfied when the next person seems to have something superior? And what if they have something you could never have?

Maybe they’re prettier. Maybe they have a boyfriend and great grades and lots of money. It’s hard to love someone when all you think about when you see them is how much you wish you were them.

Let’s be honest: jealousy isn’t a friendly emotion. If I were to act jealous around my friends, perhaps moody and distant, they might start to drift away. I’d become unhappy and bitter, thinking only of what I don’t have.

It’s grieving for everything I never had.

The Bible on jealousy

The Bible tells us jealousy is wrong. And we can find out for ourselves that it’s miserable to feel as well. So why exactly is it such a common emotion? And how do we stop it?

There is no one-time, quick solution to rid yourself of jealousy. It’s impossible to just stop feeling jealous instantly. However, the situation is anything but hopeless. Here is how you can avoid feeling jealous in your everyday life.

Count your blessings

Think about things in your life that you are grateful for. This should not be comparing yourself to others. In other words, don’t think “I have a pet dog and my neighbor doesn’t,” but instead think “My pet dog makes me so happy. I’m glad he is in my life.”

It’s one thing to not feel jealous. It’s quite another thing to think you’re better than everyone else.

Consider why the person you’re jealous of might deserve it

In a situation where your friend receives a job that you wanted, remember that perhaps they were better cut out for that particular job. It’s okay to be disappointed, but don’t forget that God has a plan for you–and your friend.

It’s also a good idea to put yourself in their situation and remember their attributes. Maybe your friend works really hard and is always kind. Maybe she deserves that job, and it will be good for her.

Do something productive

God gave everyone unique talents and things that you can enjoy. If you enjoy reading, read a good book. It’s difficult to feel jealous when you’re content with your own life. If you can’t think of any activity that makes you happy, try something new!

What’s making you feel jealous?

Consider why you don’t feel satisfied with your life. Is it your financial situation? Or maybe you feel you are falling behind your friends? Is it a health issue?

If you find one particular thing that is making you unhappy, try to make a change in your life. I know this such an overused piece of advice, but keep in mind it might be used so often for a reason. If you cannot change something that is making you feel jealous, pray.

Pray for yourself to feel content.

There is never a wrong time to pray or a wrong thing to pray about. The fight against feeling jealous is long and anything but fun. However, it’s extremely important to feel content with your life. I hope you are able to stop feeling pain because of jealousy through these tips.

Can you do me a favor? In the comment section below, share some tips you use to stop feeling jealous. I would love to hear your thoughts!

AUTHOR
Emily Briggs
Hello! My name is Emily! I am 15 years old and live in Michigan. I have two puppies and 3 younger siblings. I attend Student Council and Youth Group for weekly meetings. On weekends I spend time skiing, competing in CREW (rowing) regattas or just hanging out with my friends downtown. I enjoy painting quite a bit as well. I’m grateful to be a part of the World Changers Internship!
  • I suffered through a few years of extreme fatigue and headaches because we didn’t know that I had celiacs disease. It was really hard to have to be in bed at 8pm. I missed out on so many fun things with friends. It was hard, but focusing on all the blessings in my life made all the difference in the world for me.

  • Karina

    Love this article! One thing I have to remind myself of is that we all get jealous; even the “prettiest girl” I am jealous of gets jealous of another person who she thinks is the “prettiest.” It helps me put things in perspective.

  • Whenever I am jealous it’s almost always because I am not grateful for the things God has given me. And that is so wrong when I have been given so much. My remedy is to remind myself to stop acting like I’m a toddler and be genuinely happy for the person.